Halloween and Autism

I have always loved Halloween. When Josh and Leah were little, I loved finding just the right costume for each of them. At first we didn’t really try to trick-or-treat with them, we would just get dressed up and head over to Aunt Nan & Uncle Joe’s. They always made up a bag specially for them, we would visit for a bit and go home.

When Leah became interested in trick-or-treating, things got a little tricky. We tried to take them both once, but Josh kept trying to run into each house.😬 Tom was often traveling over Halloween, so one year Leah went with her friend from preschool while I hung out at home with Josh.

Josh has some sensory challenges, and it’s hard for him to process certain things. Eventually we could only put him in costumes that were like clothes he would normally wear. Masks have never been an option. He likes to people watch, but all the people with the lights and loud noises can be overwhelming, which results in a meltdown.

Nan and Joe made up bags for all their nieces and nephews, so every year we got the kids dressed up and went there first. I’m not sure the exact chain of events, but eventually it came to be that Josh would stay at Nan & Joe’s while I took Leah around town. We did it that way for years, until Leah eventually chose to trick-or-treat with her friends.

In those early years, I tried not to feel like I was missing out. I wanted to be grateful for what I had, but I also wanted my kids to be able to do all the things their peers were doing. I wanted to be the mom who shared the whole experience with my kids, and talked excitedly about different houses and their decorations afterward. And I really did feel like we were all missing out on so much.

We didn’t try to take Josh around again until 2013. Josh was 14, Leah was 12. We had gotten a wheelchair from a family member who no longer had use for it, and Josh liked to ride in it. Remember, he was a runner (or wanderer) and the wheelchair was a lifesaver for our family. While he isn’t physically disabled, having him in the wheelchair gave us a little peace of mind, a moment to breathe without fear of him eloping. We found these neat cards online, printed and laminated them. We handed them to each person we trick or treated, and it was well-received, even though Josh was “past the appropriate age” to beg for candy. We did that two years, but then Josh was sort of over it, and again just wanted to hang out at Nan & Joe’s.

I’m thankful Josh’s school still does a Halloween celebration, and they trick-or-treat in a parade. I want him to be able to enjoy it as long as he still does. I guess my take-away in all this is, if you have a child with Autism or any other sensory difficulties, find what works for you. Don’t beat yourself up over “what might have been” or “what should be,” and do what you can that makes each of you happy.

I guess this is 50, too.

We’re in This Together